Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Today was an emotional rollerrrcoasssttteerrrr. It’s my last day in Canada and I woke up feeling anxious and to be frank, quite scared of leaving. I was grateful that I had a big distraction today though, my friend Ian was coming to Vancouver! It’s his fiancées birthday coming up so he surprised her with a weekend away, and today she was being totally pampered at a spa. So Ian was left to hang out with anxious old me all day.

We met up and went to eat Dutch pancakes for breakfast, trying to fuel up with sugar before our next activity… we had planned to get tattoos.

I.

Was.

Terrified.

Months ago we started talking with this artist about designs and prep and the guy just like…. never got around to sending us designs. I was furious but Ian calmed me down and said ‘what’s the worst that can happen? We just won’t get it done if the design sucks.’ WELL. The design didn’t suck. But that was almost the problem. I loved it. But that meant I had to decide pretty quickly about whether or not I wanted to get this design I was seeing for the first time TATTOOED onto my body forever.

I’m was tired and anxious and being dramatic and spent almost an hour waffling emotionally about whether to get it done or not. I realized three things right at the crucial decision making moment:

1) I actually really wanted the tattoo, and it was very similar to the reference photo we had sent in that I’d been excited about for months.

2) I felt exactly the same way when I got my first tattoo and now I am so happy all the time when I see it. And it’s not even that great.

3) My little brother Charlie just got a penguin tattoo on his ribs so like… why was I being such a weenie about this?

I did it. And as happy as I am with the design it will take a little getting used to. I know I’ll absolutely adore it eventually (I also know it’s taboo to say this stuff) but for now I’m just okay with it. To be honest I think I’ll forget about it most of the time since it’s small and on a part of my ribs that I can’t see.

I was so exhausted afterwards that Ian and I went out for ice cream to raise my blood sugar and visit just a bit more before we had to say our goodbyes. It was weird and a little sad saying bye to Ian since it’s going to be so long until we see each other again.

I bussed home to meet Avery, and we walked to the beach to watch the sunset. We relaxed on the rocks, looking over the city while I intermittently freaked out and calmed down, freaked out and calmed down.

I just got a tattoo.

I’m leaving the country tomorrow.

Did I even bring enough shoes?

We came home and I called my mom one more time before shutting my phone down for good. We made pizza and watched the movie Dumplin‘, which was exactly the slow relaxed heartwarming kind of distraction I needed.

I packed up all my clean laundry and finalized the last little details.

I might not have a rain jacket or enough shoes but I’m ready.

Taiwan here I come.

Sav