Location: Jambiani, Zanzibar

I AM GOING TO FREAK OUT FOR 500 WORDS AND YOU’RE GOING TO LET ME. BUCKLE UP.

Today started off with a god damn mother fucking bed bug scare. I will preface this all by saying I am fine, and there are no bed bugs in sight and nobody but me is worried about this. Needless to say it didn’t start off as the relaxing day we had envisioned! I had massively painful and itchy welts on my legs this morning that yesterday I assumed were just mosquito bites…

It got real dramatic real fast because the front desk called in a full on house call doctor because my legs looked pretty bad. Like regardless of what caused it I was clearly having an ugly allergic reaction. It was a whole thing with a steroid IV in my hand and creams and pills and questions. I couldn’t care less what it was to be honest – as long as it wasn’t bed bugs. The doc is pretty sure it was regular old sand fleas from our time on the beach but I was too stressed to listen so thank god Pauline was there to talk like a normal human being. I was not fully convinced and wasn’t going to be able to relax until I did a full bed and bag check for hours. Like 3 hours of checking every single seam and crevice and nook and cranny in my stuff and the bed. I get it. I’m being insane. It’s fine.

Despite not finding a single sign I will still be doing bed bug protocol when I return home, even though everyone around me thinks it’s not that. It’s a hassle and a half but I have almost FIFTY (FIVE ZERO) bites on my lower legs to back up this silliness. The less glamorous and anxiety inducing parts of travel have to rear their heads once in a while. I am also particularly paranoid about this because even a really nice hotel room like ours can be compromised. I always do a full check before setting my bags down and had no concerns when we checked in to this hotel. Can you hear me trying to convince myself??????

After the whole fiasco we decided to salvage what we could of our relaxing day and just lounge by the pool to read our books and watch shows all afternoon. I can’t say I was totally relaxed but I finally got to sit by the ocean, which because of our insane schedule I haven’t been able to do until now. We ordered an early comfort food dinner and decided that was all we were going to manage for the day and called it early to just do self care for the evening.

Here’s hoping I am able to sleep. All evidence and a doctor and Pauline and the hotel point to this being nothing to worry about. Side eye the camera. Pauline thinks I’m being paranoid so let’s just all hope that I am incorrect.

I don’t remember the last time I wanted to be wrong but here we are!

Sav

AKA Gossip Squirrel

P.S. someone told me they liked my writing today and thought I should write books and I just think that is a lovely little sparkle in an otherwise **** *** ****** *** ****** day.